"Dear Pain" Joeyshy Urrutia

Dear Pain, 
You signed the dotted line
before you slipped
the ring
on my finger
and disappeared
Quicker than I could
say yes
bound myself to you

Sweet agony, 
does this mean
I love you? 
Or do I love the person
you are cloaked in? 

Last time you disguised
yourself as the man
I called father
Who stuck his hand down my pants
With alcohol
as an excuse
an exit ticket
Don't you dare
cover your ass with it

Everyone knows
drunk actions
are sober thoughts
Does that mean
you wondered about
sticking your fingers
inside me
just to see if I can fall apart? 

But watch! 
I am ready
writing myself sane

I seen you in my mother
when I was denied her
instinct and given denial
You broke
her promise
that day
he was supposed to love her

Do not shush me
I won't cover it up
I leave this all
on the table

Do not touch it

it's far too heavy...